the (un)importance of being nice...
don't know why but since i was little i've always had an extremely negative reaction to word "nice"... guess the equivalent korean word to that would be "chahk hah dah"... never liked that word either... probably it's from when my mom used to tell me "why couldn't you be nice like so-and-so's daughter...?"... well, that makes sense, i suppose...
for some reason i think i always thought (and knew) that people were expecting that quality a lot more from girls than boys... i mean if a girl is "nice" enough, it's good enough and makes up for other things she might be not... but if she's good at many other things but not "nice" enough, that comes off as bigger flaw than a boy... why is that...? why are girls expected to smile more than the boys...? why are girls supposed to be sweet and friendly to be liked...? and if you are not, they call you strong... but people usually don't say that to the boys, do they...?
i'm not saying being friendly and sweet and "nice" is bad but that hint of sexism really bothers me...
but then i also don't really like when people describe object "nice" either... it somehow sounds so in-between and lukewarm... what does it really mean when you way "it's nice"...?
ok, i'm just being a control freak right there...
well, if you know me in person and maybe you can describe me "nice" (yeah, right) but i think i usually balance it pretty well with being a bitch for the most of time... but do not worry, i'm not going to give you an evil eye for calling me "nice"...
for some reason i think i always thought (and knew) that people were expecting that quality a lot more from girls than boys... i mean if a girl is "nice" enough, it's good enough and makes up for other things she might be not... but if she's good at many other things but not "nice" enough, that comes off as bigger flaw than a boy... why is that...? why are girls expected to smile more than the boys...? why are girls supposed to be sweet and friendly to be liked...? and if you are not, they call you strong... but people usually don't say that to the boys, do they...?
i'm not saying being friendly and sweet and "nice" is bad but that hint of sexism really bothers me...
but then i also don't really like when people describe object "nice" either... it somehow sounds so in-between and lukewarm... what does it really mean when you way "it's nice"...?
ok, i'm just being a control freak right there...
well, if you know me in person and maybe you can describe me "nice" (yeah, right) but i think i usually balance it pretty well with being a bitch for the most of time... but do not worry, i'm not going to give you an evil eye for calling me "nice"...
posted by okkyung at 8:35 PM
5 Comments:
Yay! Okkyung is so nice!!! :P
I think the word is irritating because when most people use it, what they mean isn't "kind" but rather "dishrag". You can disagree with people and stand up for yourself and still be genuinely nice, but no mother talking about so-and-so's daughter will ever say so.
I can do without that "Let other people be rude to you because otherwise you're being rude to them" attitude. Barf!
Finally, your new record is out! Great news! Just ordered it now, can't wait to hear it!
i think "nice" as a word is misunderstood in the west - far from being an insipid, only vaguely positive description that's usually met with disdain from people who consider themselves to be sufficiently potent enough to merit a more interesting adjective, i've come to see "nice" as a very generalised concept..
i spent some time in the gambia recently and found that most people, particularly the sabar drummers we were working with, attached great significance to "nice", giving you a very strong look in the eye for emphasis whenever it was used. i later found out that the national motto is "it's nice to be nice", which as far as i could gather meant that if everyone is relaxed and things do not become stressful then everything is fine... often with the result that things only happen in their own time if at all, which can be frustrating (and quite stressful) if you're trying to make a project happen out there, but that's another matter.
since i got back i've had to try to temper my use of it, as it seems back home the literal interpretation still prevails. shame..
"NICE" is equivalent to the following:
"It's so cute. And pink".
same shit, meaning shit
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