eh...

i feel like ranting...
it's so damn gorgeous out and i'm sick and cranky...
been spending awful a lot of time watching danger man aka secret agent man at home... patrick mcgoohan... he's my ideal man, period... well, gene kelly comes pretty close though...
i know, maybe i mean john drake but i cannot help thinking that patrick mcgoohan's real personality definitely is reflected on john drake... after all he refused to show him carrying a gun or kissing a girl on screen... not that's why i think he's my ideal man... he's so... just perfect... he's tender, shrewd, masculine, careful, gorgeous, sensitive and most of all, fair... and all those little things he does... only the things someone who's watched the show tons of times would notice of course... like the way his fingers move when he's feeling relentless, the way he pauses for split second before his moves when he's being cautious, the way he lifts his right eyebrow out of suspicion... damn, it's so stupid...
have to admit i haven't been able to get into prisoner yet because i'm so not ready to let go of john drake...
eh...
looking at my "friends" list here... it says i have more than 1000 and some friends... how did that happen...? just to let you know, yeah, like it's really a big deal for you or anybody, i don't accept everybody... believe it or not, i refuse good 50% of people who "request" to be on my list... sometimes i see some of these people "collecting" female musicians or asian chicks or any kind of girls as a matter of fact... so ridiculous... i absolutely refused to be "collected" by anybody... that's one of the reasons why i got rid of all the pictures that shows my face really... well, there's still one up but i like that one... yikes... hard to be a chick in this world... yeah, right...
uh... i still like being a girl...
also i do like getting older... just turned 32... feel more relaxed and comfortable... it's kinda weird not to be the youngest of the bunch anymore... i'm supposed to be an old maid at that age... my parents probably have give up the hope of me getting married anytime soon... well, what can i say... i do not believe in marriage... at least for me... i know it does work for some people but i think people should live together for a long time before they get married... and people must get a license to have a kid... when i was coming back from dia:beacon a couple of weeks ago, there was this young mom with two little kids and everything came out of her mouth was "shut up!" to her kids... she was so damn busy looking at herself on mirror fixing her hair and talking on the phone for more than an hour, she couldn't care less if her kids were crying and almost choking... why didn't i say anything...? because i'm a coward... but felt like if i said anything it would have made the situation even worse for the kids... ah, excuses and excuses... she sucked big time...
i know there are many great parents out there... doing the best they can... but then there sure are many shitty ones... creating the vicious circle of unhealthy, emotionally crippled parent/child relationship...
eh...
there you go, i'm ranting... and still cranky...