what's wrong with me...?

i don't know why but i cannot help thinking that my cell phone's going to explode while i'm holding it... such a weird paranoia... wonder where that comes from... guess i've been feeling somewhat anxious... but about what...?
think since my schedule slowed down somewhat for august and september, i've been trying to figure out what to do next and stuff... then whenever i try to do something, like setting up a gig, thinking about new projects, i end up feeling so damn not focused, then get anxious, then feel like i'm stuck...
also i cannot help thinking that things seem to go a lot better when i'm not trying to push anything... then that's so passive... argh, i don't know anymore...
one of my mottoes has been to go with the flow... and i've been damn lucky so far by living it... however isn't it about the time for me to take charge in my life...? maybe it's some kind of block i need to get through...
hopefully it'll go away soon and i'll be able to sit down, breathe and focus... need to go away or something...